Monday, March 12, 2012

Lesbian Foreplay


My girlfriend actually asked me what foreplay is cuz for her it's usually just "kiss kiss SEX" as she put it. I started to explain what it is when you're with a man then I realized... That's what a lot of lesbian sex is. Stuff that a strait person would consider foreplay! There are some things not foreplay. I was thinking actually sexual acts but there can be other fun leading up to it.

So, I guess above the waist is still foreplay. Also, things before contact. Below the belt is where it gets complicated. At what point does that go from foreplay to sex? My guess, is when it gets consistent. Not just a little grip here and there. Once you are actively interacting sexually is the point at which it goes from foreplay to sex. My only guess.

So, for those of you wanting some tips, I have some. First, this does not apply to everyone. It's all in what you are your partner like and enjoy. Some of it is simple like teasing, kissing, fondling. More fun things include sexy lingerie, stripping, dancing, roleplaying, stuff like that.

It all depends on what you're into. I don't have much time to wwrite today because I have several appointments so I am keeping this brief. I suppose when sex starts, is once YOU feel it's started. Some would consider oral to be foreplay, while with many it's the whole shabang.

~Lisa Cole

P.S. As always, I ask you all to comment and consider my facebook group for lesbians and bi girls, Girls <3 Girls: http://www.facebook.com/groups/179602085475037/

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Lesbian Relationship Dynamic


Nothing says that any relationship has to follow a set of rules of any kind. There doesn't HAVE to be a man and woman role. In my relationship, I would say Natalie is more of the male role and she feels it too but we are both women and see each other as a woman. In fact, she even refused to let me be the one to ask her out haha. She waited until I gave up asking her out so she could be the man about it and asked me out. I thought it was funny. When I realized I said "Ok, then I unask you out" and stuck my tongue out.

The dynamic of a relationship can work any way. Just like with a strait couple. Sometimes the man is in charge, some times the woman is in charge, and sometimes they both are! It's the same for gayelle couples. The femme can be above the butch, or vice versa. I had a friend ask my thoughts on stud/stud, butch/butch, and femme/femme relationships shortly after I started this. Funny thing was, she didn't know I had started it!

I think that something where the 2 are equals could be a bit complicated at first because you aren't just falling into a set role of what to do but it can be more fair. Instead of "Ok, you have to take out the trash and I'll do the dishes." Not very fair, is it? Instead, it's more like taking turns. Granted, that's not the only thing there is much more but this is just an example. Once you got into the groove of things, it would probably be a lot easier.

You also cannot assume, "Well, I want someone submissive so I'll get a femme." because of the simple fact that not all femmes will let you be in charge at all. Just cuz she's girly doesn't make her your bitch. You also can't just look for a butch if you want a partner in charge because butches can be weak too.

(In case you are wondering, I have begun to use the term Gayelle for good reason. I went to gayelle.org after hearing about it in that list of "types of lesbians" and read why they wanted this term and she has a good point. You guys should check it out. Back on subject now though.)

You know the phrase, "Don't judge a book by it's cover"? Well, it applies here too. A relationship can work any way if both parties want it to but you can't expect someone to take on a role just cuz they look the part. Just cuz I'm in heels doesn't mean I want to mop. Just like just because I'm wearing mens clothes, doesn't mean I want to control everything aorund me.

Now, as I said, it is easiest to fall into a male/female role because that is the best words to use to summarize these things that we grew up knowing. As Natalie said the other day on a facebook post: "Ok so lets talk about tomboy/ butches/ studs. Ok people tell me i fit into that category and i agree. and they also say/ ask why am i trying to be a boy. Ok!!! Im not i love being a girl i wouldnt have it any other way. Just because im more comfortable wearing guys clothing doesnt mean i wanna be a guy. stupidest thing ive ever heard. >:( . . . But granted there are women out there that dress like guys cuz they want to be guys but thats not me. Back off my status."

Direct copy paste so please excuse the mis-spellings and such :) There's no denying my role as a femme gayelle. I have almost everything I own, pink-red, purple, or blue. My laptop, mouse, notebook, and laptop theme are hot pink. My wallpapers theme is gay pride pictures I have collected. My purse/bag, stylus for my tablet, and theme for my tablet are red. My jackets are mostly purple, and a lot of my clothes are blue. Come on, can you get much more girly? Then again, mixed in all this is lots of skulls, skateboards, etc. that are more male and many of my mannerisms are male therefore adding my streak of tomboy.

See, not so specific huh? I'm super girly but that doesn't mean I HAVE to fit that role. I may be a stay at home mom, but that doesn't mean I want to keep the house clean all by myself. My point is that the relationship dynamic can work however YOU want it to.

~Lisa Cole

P.S. As always, I ask you all to comment and consider my facebook group for lesbians and bi girls, Girls <3 Girls: http://www.facebook.com/groups/179602085475037/

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Rise in the LGBT population


I, personally, believe that the increase in gays is due to many natural, and unnatural factors. There may be some I'm not even considering but these are just my thoughts on the matter.

First off one reason is simple. More people are more open about it now because it is more widely accepted and something that is common knowledge. In this case, the population itself isn't actually increasing, just coming out of the closet to be known to the world. In this day and age, you can be punished by law for discrimination while 1,000 years ago you could be punished for being gay. Things are changing and I think it is for the best.

Now we live in a world that nothing is really shocking anymore. There are some negative things that come with that but I would rather be bothered than naive. For example, our acknowledging many myths and religions has made us more open to scientific advances in leaps and bounds!

That leads me to my big theory. Natures form of poplation control. The world is getting overpopulated and there's no denying that. It only leaves a few things that kill and stopo birthing. We are curing all diseases, slowing down murders and animal attacks, finding ways to get around infertility and everything else. Nature is a bit out of options. One way to cut down on accidental pregnancies would be, homosexuality. You can't get pregnant by another woman and a man can't get anotehr man pregnant. Granted, a woman can get artificially fertilized, or a man can get a serogate mother. I only say, thank god it's expensive!

Now, science is even working on a way for one woman to carry a child that is from her and her female partner. The child can only be female though. Sounds like someone is trying to take men out of the equation completely haha. It has happened that a man can in fact carry a child full term then have the baby taking via surgery. A man did it for his wife because she couldn't carry their child. Personally, I think more people need to adopt more often. That's my thoughts though.

I can understand wanting a child that is your own flesh and blood. I have 2 that are and honestly, I don't think I could feel the same about an adopted child as I do about a child that is truly MINE. I carried them for 9 months, birthed them, fed them, everything. It's just not the same if you skip those steps.

Another factor leading to more KNOWN homosexuals I should say, is the media. There's a lot of shows, chick flicks mainly, that have gay men in them. Plus, most strait men fantasize about two women and porn brings that right before their eyes. There's no way NOT to know about homosexuals so people that may have never even considered being gay, may now. I've seen middle aged people that have just come out to themselves recently.

It can also be based on the economy. Many people pretended to be strait and got married to the opposite gender for financial reasons. There are many financial things that only apply if you are married. Many women married men because they had no way to support themselves without whoring themselves out centuries ago. Now, women can get as well paid as men so we don't have to have one to survive.

As well, the whole worls is MUCH more open minded then it used to be so things are more easily accepted and people can in fact be punished for hating minorities. Though if you really think about it, the minorities are the majority. There's more people that fit into those groups than what fit into the "normal" frame. Through this, gays have become more confident in expressing themselves and taking a stand for their rights. We should have the same rights as everyone else and eventually, we will. It's all a thing of waiting and keep pushing.

So, that is my theories. My biggest one though that I believe is natures population control. Humans are getting around this though too!

~Lisa Cole

P.S. As always, I ask you all to comment and consider my facebook group for lesbians and bi girls, Girls <3 Girls: http://www.facebook.com/groups/179602085475037/

Friday, March 9, 2012

Sex toys determining sexuality


I got into an argument recently with a girl who has always tried to do everything I do since I was in high school. She had JUST been talking about loving her boyfriend and all this jazz then posted that she was a lesbian. She started acting like she was bi when I came out and I just let it go. Figured that she's only hurting herself by pretending to be something she's not. Then, she sat in my group complaining about me threatening to kick her out because she was bothering everyone with her whining and hitting on everyone, including my girlfriend. I, of course, lost my temper. I blew up on her for everything she has ever done to me and about how she ruined my life in high school to the point that I had to move out of the state. She had a mob of people wanting to hurt me over her lies. Her only comeback was saying that I can't be a lesbian because I use a dildo.

First off, to make this clear how she would know anything like this, I have extremely sensitive skin and am allergic to latex. I posted asking if anyone knew materials for sex toys that might not have a bad reaction with my skin. I also mentioned that I have a jelly type dildo. She left out that I can't use it.

So, my question is, does being penetrated by sex toys and liking it, mean you're not a lesbian? I can see why one may think that because it is like being with a man then. I think not though. It's fake, usually doesn't even feel very real, and it's just a more fun way to reach the g-spot in my opinion. I do see her view point on this though. I know she's just an idiot and was just saying the first thing that went through her mind but it's a relevant topic, really.

So, what I think here is simple genetics. There are very sensitive nerve endings inside, and for some not even that far inside. It can be much more pleasing to use a toy for that especially if you or your partner like to keep long finger nails. Would you want something sharp and pointy up in there? I don't think so!

Many penetrating sex toys don't even resemble a male member. It's not like I'm gonna go out and get some giant foot longer. Hell no. The one I have is only 7 inches and even that much I didn't want. I use just a couple of inches of it. I like having long pretty nails, I don't want to run the risk of getting carried away and scratching myself. Granted, fingers can be nice and I use them only since I don't even have a sex toy I can use.

See my point though? Penetration is not the same as heterosexual intercourse by any means. That dildo won't cum in me and get me pregnant, it doesn't have skin, or muscloes, or nerves. It's not REAL. Gay men may even use a pocket pussy so that it's not all hands but that doesn't mean they want a pussy. You don't have to never have anything up in there again to be a lesbian. Many women started out liking men too before they stuck to only women and may have grown used to having something inside. It's all in who that thing is attached to. I'm not going to let any part of a man inside me or anything he controls. A woman though, I'll enjoy it all day long!

Another thing here is that some lesbians ENJOY feeling like a man. That's why they'll strap one on and go to town on their sweety and I see nothing wrong with that at all. I've never been the one with the strap but I think it could be fun to be in that roll. In which case, your sweety has to enjoy it too. As I said, naturally sexual sensitive there. No matter what is in our heads, the body is still in charge. The g-spot is in there and many other pleasant places. Just like on the outside there's more places that feel good than just the clit.

You also cannot assume that because a woman has a vibrator, that it goes in at all. Many use them just to stimulate the clit. My girlfriend goes this in fact :) Though she probably won't be too happy when she reads me sharing this with the world. I think that is enough on the subject for the time being though.

~Lisa Cole

P.S. As always, I ask you all to comment and consider my facebook group for lesbians and bi girls, Girls <3 Girls: http://www.facebook.com/groups/179602085475037/

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Bible against lesbians? I think not!


I do find it funny that the christian's say the bible says that gay is wrong so christians opose it. They don't look at the exact words though.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
Right there. It says offenders. Who says that the fact that they are homosexual IS the offense? It could even mean homosexual rape because in those days it was fairly common! There was also a message with this passage when I looked it up online that I have to agree with, "While the scripture may sound clear, the debate actually surrounds the use of the Greek word that this particular version of the Bible translates as "homosexual offenders." The term is "arsenokoite." Some say that it is a reference to male prostitutes rather than to two committed homosexuals. Yet, others argue that Paul, who wrote the passage, would not have repeated "male prostitutes" twice. Even others argue that the two root words in arsenokoite are the same terms used to prohibit any premarital or extramarital sexual relations, so they may not refer to homosexual relations alone."

There is also this one that I know so well,
Leviticus 18:22 - "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable."
See there, not very specific is it? Lies is what was said for sex in those days. Though however you veiw this, it says nothing about lesbians so we're safe :)

And this,
Romans 1:26-27 - "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion."
They recieved the due penalties IN THEMSELVES. It only says that he let lust take them over and therefore they had sexual relations with the same gender. Penalities in themselves can simply mean that the regretted it and were ashamed. It was not exactly common practice in those days so, of course they would be ashamed. Especially if they found the idea of themselves sleeping with another of their gender gross.

My point here is, why would god hate us following our heart if it's not hurting anyone? Also, didn't Jesus die on the cross so we could be forgiven of our sins? If so, then why is it so wrong. People eat pork because Jesus forgives them for it. Why can't I eat pussy if Jesus will forgive me for it? I know it's crude but really. If they can sin and be forgiven, why can't I? There are other religions opposed to homosexuality but I don't know them as well. Maybe after some studying I will decipher other religious views on this. I only know christianity because I was raised as a baptist. I have beliefs and spirituality, but I don't think there is a religion for them. It's a complicated matter when you don't stick by a known religion. Hence why I don't discuss it much.

I decided to blog on this because I had a friend that hated herself because she was a lesbian at heart and was a very strict christian. I tried explaining these things to her so she wouldn't hate herself and she just would NOT hear it. She said I was reading between the lines too much. That may very well be but it is still plainly there and I only know of a handful of christians that don't do the same thing in some way. Words are interpreted how people want them to be. It's as simple as that.

My point here is that there is no reason for religion to be against homosexuality. There are homophobic people and people it just grosses out and I understand that. Frankly, gay male sex grosses me out but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to do it in the privacy of their own homes. If you don't like PDA, don't look. I don't think Jesus ever said to hate people. He encouraged love. Take a lesson from yourselves, you people that hate us because you think you're book says to. Your favorite line, "What would Jesus do?" He fell in love with a prostitute and forgave her. Do you really think he would want his followers to attack people? Whether it be emotionally, lawfully, or physically I don't think he would be ok with it.

Another point on this is laws in America. America fights for equality and says there is a seperation between church and state, but I see very little. The government should not claim this if it is not the case. If it were true, there wouldn't be laws against gayt marriage anywhere in the United States. This is a great country for many reasons but it has it's flaws. You have given us women many rights that other places don't have. You claim it is because we are the equals of man. So why should my sexual preference change this? If I can do anything they can, why can't I have sex with a woman without judgement. A man can marry a woman, why can't I?

As I touched on the other day, I'm not interested in marrying at any point soon but it is still a right we should have! There is supposed to be a seperation of church and state yet there is not. Even with that being together, I do not believe that any God would say, "Punish the one who sleeps with the one of their own gender." I believe a Devil may say this, but not a God. Not even slightly. So think about that next time you judge a gay. To the gays, point out these facts to the next Christian who judges you for loving who you do. It's your right to and no one can take that away.

"Judge not lest ye be judged."

~Lisa Cole

P.S. As always, I ask you all to comment and consider my facebook group for lesbians and bi girls, Girls <3 Girls: http://www.facebook.com/groups/179602085475037/

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Types of Lesbians



It can be pretty hard to try to sum up your basic personality as a lesbian. Like the role you play in the relationship. For some, it's really obvious. For others, it's not. I'm a femme with a streak of tomboy myself. I narrowed it down with this handy list I found on Deviant Art. All credit goes to the maker, http://mayahuskee.deviantart.com/ and here is where you can find her version of the list http://mayahuskee.deviantart.com/journal/Label-Me-Lesbian-A-Guide-to-Types-of-Lesbians-214218387 . I just thought I would share it with you all so you won't be left confused like I was for so long. You can be more than one thing, remember. I know this doesn't tell your whole story, but it's a nice start for an introduction especially if you're still on the prowl for Mrs. Right.

I actually found my girlfriend, Natalie on Plenty of Fish. It's a free dating site. Thought I would throw in the recommendation and link http://www.pof.com it's really easy and I met several awesome friends and finally met Natalie <3

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Well, here's the list and deifinitions you are probably waiting to get to, if you even read all of that.

 Dyke
Another word for lesbian. Usually is only used by people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans. A straight person using this word may offend some people.

 Alternate Definition: Although originally a derogatory term for lesbians, it is now often used with pride by lesbians themselves, especially the younger and hipper lesbian crowd. Some lesbians (especially older or super-sensitive ones) still object to the term, but it is becoming increasingly common and mainsteam (at least within the gay community), with events such as "Dyke Nights" or "Dyke Marches" being held around the country. In fact some dykes resent being called a lesbian, as they feel it is much less cool than being called a dyke.

Note: Dyke with a "y" is a lesbian. Dike with an "i" is for damming water.



 Gold Star Lesbian
A gold star lesbian is a lesbian who has never slept with a man and has no intention of ever sleeping with a man.



 Lone Star Lesbian
A Lone Star Lesbian is not a lesbian from Texas. A Lone Star Lesbian is someone who has only had sex with one person in their life. Straight and bisexual people can be Lone Stars too.



 Lipstick Lesbian
A lipstick lesbian is a woman who loves other women, but also loves her clothes and makeup and shoes. She tends to dress on the femmy side. Also known as Femme or Fem.

 Alternate Definition: A feminine lesbian. It can be used interchangably with femme to indicate a feminine lesbian, but strictly speaking, a femme is usually attracted to masculine, or butch, lesbians and a lipstick lesbian is attracted to other feminine lesbians.

Often thought of as demure, submissive creatures, many, if not all femmes and lipstick lesbians are quite strong, independant women.



 Chapstick Lesbian
A chapstick lesbian is also known as a soft butch or androgynous. She usually dresses quite casually and does not wear make-up. The term Chapstick Lesbian was popularized after an episode of the TV show Ellen. Someone asked Ellen if she were a lipstick lesbian or what. Ellen replied, she was more of a chapstick lesbian.

 Alternate Definition: A female homosexual whose gender identity is slightly to the femme side of neutral on the femme-butch continuum of gender presentation but whose appearance and preferences stop short of those of a "lipstick lesbian."



 Femme
A feminine lesbian. Also known as a Lipstick Lesbian. Sometimes spelled Fem.

 Alternate Definition: A (traditionally) feminine woman. Mainly used to refer to a feminine lesbian, and especially a feminine lesbian who is attracted to masculine, or butch lesbians.

Often thought of as passive, dulcet, timid little things with long locks of hair; prissy dresses; great big fawn eyes; a high, baby-doll voice; the courage of a lamb and the intelligence of a gardenia. But we're all human, so don't expect that stereotype of finding every femme to be submissive, faint-hearted little fairies. Plenty of femmes kick butt and are even the dominant over their butch partners.



 Blue Jeans Femme
A Blue Jean Femme is a lesbian who identifies as femme, or feminine, but prefers jeans and more casual clothing to dresses and skirts.



 Butch
A woman who adopts what would be considered masculine characteristics.

 Alternate Definition: A (traditionally) masculine man or woman, and especially a masculine lesbian. Often the "dominant" partner in a lesbian relationship, and especially of a butch/femme lesbian relationship.

Dressing masculinely does not make a woman into a lesbian, contrary to popular belief; it's usually more convenient. Acting masculinely only means that's the gender role that the person identifies with; it has nothing to do with their sexual life. A highly masculine man could be gay for all we know and a very feminine man could be straight for all we know, and both of these cases are frequent.



 Stone Butch
A stone butch is a lesbian who gets her pleasure from pleasing her partner. She does not like to be touched sexually.

 Alternate Definition:  Most masculine of the Butches - may pass as male without actually trying. May identify as transgender, that is identifying outside of the gender usually associated with females. Does all or most of the above in masculine gender expressions. May or may not be sexually aggressive. Will not be made love to as one would a "woman". Will have questioned their gender at some time in their lives. Will not be totally comfortable with their female body. May think of Butch as a separate gender from man & woman.



 Pillow Queen
A Pillow Queen is someone who likes to be on the receiving end of sex. She likes to be pleasured and not reciprocate.



 Soft Butch
A soft butch is a lesbian whose appearance is generally androgynous. She may dress and act in a masculine manner, but be soft and more feminine in the inside. Also, a soft butch can be someone who falls somewhere between butch and femme, but closer to the butch side.



 Stem
A stem is a lesbian who identifies somewhere between "stud" and "femme". Also known as Kiki.



 Kiki
Kiki is a term that was used in the lesbian bar culture of the 1950s and 1960s to describe someone who was neither butch nor femme. At that time, the bar culture was very much into roles and most women were pressured to choose either butch or femme.



 Futch
Dani Campbell, a lesbian firefighter from Florida who was one of the contestants on MTV's Shot at Love with Tila Tequila coined the word "Futch." She says the word describes someone who is neither feminine nor butch, but a cross between.

 Alternate Definition: A lesbian, dyke or other variety of queer woman who possesses or displays qualities and identifiers of both butch and femme. (noun)

Futch (adjective) describes:
a) a non-standard display of female masculinity, which contains elements of the feminine (such as clothing, walk, cosmetics, shoes).
b) a non-standard display of queer femininity, containing elements of the masculine (such as clothing, walk, cosmetics, shoes).

If butch/femme is a spectrum, a futch may be found at any or all of the points in between.

A futch presentation may occasionally be ephemeral, caused by the migration of an woman's queer self-identity, but is much more likely to be ongoing and deliberate; reflecting an individual's own position of comfort on the queer gender presentation scale.

Tila Tequila's date, Dani Campbell, a lesbian firefighter from Florida, claims she invented the word "futch" to describe herself as being part butch, part femme. However, a spot of research will reveal that the word has been in moderate usage in the dyke community since at least 1990. Dani would have had to be a very inventive little futch at 11 to be the word's progenitor.

Sometimes futch sighting is a false positive, as in the case of many rural women who make the gaydar spang wildly, but who are merely hetero women who portray common lesbian markers, such as speaking firmly, gesturing strongly, taking no nonsense, and using no botox. While wearing boots.



 Boi
For lesbians, a boi is a woman who is biologically female, but has a boyish appearance or presentation. A boi may be lesbian identified or s/he may be trans identified. For gay men a boi is a gay man who is boyish or young in appearance or identity.

 Alternate Definition: This spelling of the word originated in a gay magazine called, "XY" in the early to mid 1990's. XY is targeted at gay male teenagers. This spelling describes a youthful, hip, and attractive male. While completely embraced in the gay community to mean any young, sexually attractive male, this spelling also appears in heterosexual contexts to mean similarly, a young, handsome guy.

However, now A boi is a lesbian or gender-queer person who identifies most with their male energy and presents themselves as male in their appearance. They may consider themselves to be of either gender although they are anatomically female.



 Power Dyke
A Power Dyke is a lesbian who has gained a position of power, either within the LGBT community, or in the world at large. She could be the head of a non-profit agency, a politician or successful in business. Also known as Power Lesbian or a Suit.



 Diesel Dyke
A Diesel Dyke is a very butch or manly lesbian, especially one who is very aggressive. In some lesbian circles Diesel Dyke refers to a very butch Big-Rig (or other heavy equipment) driving lesbian. Also known as Bulldagger.

 Alternate Definition: A lady (often quite large,) that prefers the (very) close company of other ladies, known as femmes. Regularly seen wearing a lumberjack shirt, boots and dungarees/bib & braces overalls.

Origin: Due to the normal extreme mass of these 'ladies,' it has often been assumed that locomotion could only be facilitated with the assistance of a powerful Diesel engine



 Sport Dyke
A sport dyke is a lesbian, who more than anything, identifies with being an athlete. She may also dress in a manner that would give the impression she is an athlete, like baseball caps, sweatshirts and jeans.



 Baby Dyke
A young lesbian or someone who is just coming out of the closet. Also know as Dyke in Training. Common Misspellings include: baby dike.



 Stud
A dominant lesbian, usually butch, often African American.



 Hasbian
A hasbian is a woman who used to identify as a lesbian and date women, but is now dating men.

 Alternate Definition: A term meaning a lesbian who now partakes in heterosexual activities. However, it does not mean that a woman has CHANGED her sexual orientation, that is something which does not change. She may however have changed her sexual behavior or identity. The woman may truly be straight and have previously been questioning, or the woman may have been a lesbian who has retreated into the closet, or the woman may be bisexual, omnisexual or something else of that nature but by no means can a person change their orientation.



 LUG
LUG stands for "Lesbian until Graduation". A LUG is a woman who experiments with women during her college years, but eventually decides she is straight and marries a man.

 Alternate Definition: Someone who for whatever personal/logistical reasons decides to be a lesbian until graduation. The seriousness of this can range from officially identifying as a lesbian (possibly accompanied by an elaborate coming out process) to avoidance of the offical term and simply fucking around with girls. Rather like cinderella after midnight, these are the girls who revert back to the male half of the species after leaving the college bubble. A very common occurance at women's colleges. Also has a counter-part in the term bi until graduation (BUG). Most frequently used on womens college's campuses, the term may also be used as an insult or warning and is oftentimes by other women who have more romantic or sexual experience with other women (AKA lesbians/bi chicks who have come to terms with their sexuality earlier on and are talking about the chicks who're just now starting to explore).



 Drag King
A drag king is a woman who dresses to look like a man, usually for performance. Drag kings are often lesbian, but not always.

 Alternate Definition: A woman who, generally for public entertainment, dons men's clothes and adopts a stereotypically masculine demeanor while on stage. As with drag queens, a drag king's performance can range from a silly, overdone parody to a more natural, subtle depiction of masculinity.



 Bisexual
A person who is sexually and emotionally attracted to both women and men.

 Alternate Definition: To be bisexual is to be attracted to a person regardless or gender or sex. It does not mean that you cannot make up your mind, it does not mean you are sex-crazed, and it does not mean that you will by default participate in orgies every night.

Although not a direct Lesbian term, it is relevant to #TheLesbianClub.



 Pansexual
A pansexual is someone who is attracted people of many genders. Also known as Omnisexual.

 Alternate Definition: A pansexual is someone who isn't influenced by the binaries and labels surrounding gender and sexuality. This can mean attraction to anyone regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation. Some pansexuals take it a step further to be openly against those labels and definitions, considering them to be destructive and alienating.

Although not a direct Lesbian term, it is relevant to #TheLesbianClub.



 Lesbophile
A lesbophile is someone who loves or appreciates lesbians.

This is considered Lesbian Slang.

Although not a direct Lesbian term, it is relevant to #TheLesbianClub.



 Gayelle
Gayelle is a new word that some women are trying to get to replace the word "lesbian" in the English language. According to gayelle.org, the word lesbian is antiquated and not cheerful or fun. So, they want to create a new word that they feel better fits their perception of themselves. Only time will tell if this new word takes off.

~Lisa Cole

P.S. As always, I ask you all to check out and consider my facebook group for lesbians and bi girls, Girls <3 Girls: http://www.facebook.com/groups/179602085475037/


Lesbians that date men


I know of many self identified lesbians that are dating men and even married to them. It can be a complicated system there and many jokes get made among my friends that he should consider himself lucky, his girlfriend/wife is a lesbian. There can be a lot of reasons really for a lesbian to date a man, or for a woman dating a man to call herself a lesbian. At that point, it's not usually the right term. I myself consider them to be bisexuals that prefer women but I suppose that's not always the case.

I guess the most common reason that a woman with a man would call herself a lesbian is if she came out to herself after she was already with the man. Just because our bodies are attracted to one thing, doesn't always change the heart. I myself came out to myself when I was dating a guy. I kept trying to date him cuz I really did like him. I gave up after we tried to have sex and I just couldn't find him appealing in that way at all. He wanted sex with me, I wanted to have sex... with his sister!

Another reason could be, trying it. Maybe they are doubting their sexuality so they are going to try to date a guy, but wouldn't consider them to be attracted to men. I think that's more of a stage of bicurious just not in the way people usually see it. Usually, it's someone considering homosexual actions. Who says it can't be someone homosexual, considering heterosexual actions? I don't see why that's a bad concept. If you aren't sure about what you want, there really is only one way to trully find out. Try it! You can think about it all you want but you'll never really know unless you give it a shot. So, they just dive right in, maybe even fall in love. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you have to have sex with them.

Another reason could be the good old fashioned cover up! Out to themselves but no one else. They are only with a guy so no one will know who they really are. I actually feel very sorry for these girls because they have no freedom. Sometimes it is concern of the judgement of family, friends that aren't gay tolerant, and things like that. There are many reasons. One can be religion. Some points on that I plan to hit on but that's another blog for another day.

I suppose another possible reason is that yes, they are indeed gay, but that special someone they can't help but love happens to be a man. I guess it could happen. They may not be that physically attracted to them but the heart wants what it wats, right? They at least think it's that ONE, the soulmate essentially. I've seen strait women fall for other women. Though, would that make the woman bisexual if she falls for a man? Not necessarily. Lesbian is the sexual orientation. The gender you are sexually attracted to. Lots of people love people they fiund hideous. I have actually. Heck, that man may even look feminine and that's why they don't mind.

Personally, I can't see myself ever being with a man again. I spent the first 19 years of my life lying to myself and I wish I hadn't. I lost a lot of oppotunities where I could of been happier and more satisfied with a woman. I don't regret it though for many reasons. I learned for my mistakes is one thing. I learned what I do and do not like. I never have to go through that "What if a man is what I really need?" because I know it's not. I also was blessed with my 2 sons which I wouldn't trade for a lifetime of happiness with a woman. Everyone has to go through a learning process in some way or another, it's all in how well you come out of that process that really matters.

I wish I could say more on the matter but I don't think there's much left to say, is there?

~Lisa Cole

P.S. As always, I ask you all to comment and consider my facebook group for lesbians and bi girls, Girls <3 Girls: http://www.facebook.com/groups/179602085475037/